Task 1 Comment: Concordancia temporal: “…was…and you could not…” After arriving at the airport I went into a very new concrete building. The building was not very high and you cannot see windows on the walls. A single small door was the only entrance and you could see sand sacks at both sides of the door. Once you past the door a guard require me to show him your clearance and he told me I had to put it in a visible place. Once I was in the main area of the building I had to turn to left, went through a small corridor, pass two rooms and another small corridor. When I was in front of a room labeled with number eight, I arrived to my destination; that was my office. When I opened the door I saw my desk, a cupboard at the right some shelves with books, a strange device and that’s all. Last, of course, you will have a chair if you decide to come to see me. Comment: “passed”, verbo, porque “past” es sustantivo. Comment: Concordancia temporal: “required”. Comment: “my” Comment: Falta artículo: “turn to the left” Comment: Concordancia temporal: “I had to turn…, go through…” Comment: Falta conjunción: “corridor and pass…” Task 2 Comment: Preposición: “arrived at + nombre de lugar pequeño” Comment: Coma: “right, some…” Col Johnson, After such a long time without hearing me, I want to send you my new address. Now I work in Ahrel. My Chief in command is Col Pataski. He is from Greece. The first time I saw him, I was astonish because I was wrong about Greeks I thought they were not very tall, but this guy is very tall, close to seven feet, black-haired and wrinkles, provably due to the sun. His eyes are dark brown. He usually wears a perfect ironing shirt that show he likes perfection. But on the other hand he is laughing and making jokes most of the time. Regards from Ahrel Comment: Sustituir “last”, adjetivo, por “In the future,…”. Comment: Preposición: “hearing from me”. Comment: “astonished”, participio. Comment: Artículo y punto y coma: “the Greeks; I…” Comment: “wrinkled”, participio, porque “wrinkles” es un sustantivo. Comment: Ortografía: “probably”. Comment: Adverbio y participio: “perfectly ironed” Task 3 Dear college, Comment: “shows”, 3ª pers. sing. Comment: Omitir “on the other hand”, porque para usarlo se necesita haber dicho antes “on the one hand”. Comment: Coma. Yesterday Mr Jose Martinez was in Ahrel. He came to check how ready we were, in order to archive our task. After he arrived we did a small parade. I hadn’t done any for so long time that I was more excited than being in a patrol. Our flag and UN flag were ahead of the troops. My platoon was the last of the formation. Mr Jose passed all platoons until he arrived close to us and then dismissed the formation. Everybody went to the lobby. There we had a small lunch with sandwiches in order to give Mr Jose an opportunity to speak with all of us.* There were no awards for the soldiers, only some words of encouragement. After that small period of time he went to the plane and flew back to Spain. Comment: “colleague” Comment: 1.La palabra “archive” (verbo: “1. To place or store in an archive. 2.Computer Science.To copy or compress (a file) into an archive) no encaje en este contexto. Comment: Mejor: “we held a small…” Comment: Ídem: “held”. Comment: “for such a long time..” Comment: Artículo: “and the UN flag” Comentario: Estructura y estilo: en el e-mail, aunque sea de carácter informal, convendría poner algún tipo de encabezamiento, como un saludo, y de despedida. En cuanto a las cartas formales y semi-formales, deben llevar la dirección y la fecha en la parte de arriba de la página, y deben cerrarse con algún tipo de fórmula (cf. manual). Cohesión: sencilla pero adecuada. La corrección llega hasta el asterisco (100 palabras + 10%).